Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
