okay pat passed out under dana's car
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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