Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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