covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
