i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
