not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
