spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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