She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
