This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
