Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
