she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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