I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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