video games are the ultimate cock blocker
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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