i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She told me I should be a condom model.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
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