Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize