Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
