I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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