I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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