Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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