Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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