We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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