69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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