Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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