Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize