ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
