Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
