there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
