What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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