god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
