I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
