He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
