What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
"it" just moved
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Sext me about skeletons
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
