But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
