white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
