She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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