We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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