Do you still have your period?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
