So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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