Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
