i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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