Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
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