Where did you get a picture of my penis
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
