I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
