So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
