I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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