so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
