what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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