OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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