considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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