he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
whose ass print is on the piano?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
