Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
