I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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