Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
