you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
