Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she peed on how many people?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
