best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
