i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
