Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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