i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
