he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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