talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
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