Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
