their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wish I only lived at night.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
