You really coming over, don't trick.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
