somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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