hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
