sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
