just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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