I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I want a musical about memes.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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