4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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