yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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