Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
