Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize