I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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