If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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