I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he fucked my hip out of place.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
