I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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