His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
